Dastardly Deeds for the Sake of Curing Boredom
by etoilefilante07
Summary: Oh the lengths Aizen-sama goes through to cure his boredom in Hueco Mundo! Please read and review! May contain some spoilers if you've only watched the animé!


Dastardly Deeds for the Sake of Curing Boredom in Hueco Mundo

Written by étoilefilante07

Rating: M for language and adult situations. If you think I ought to up the rating, then please let me know.

Warnings: Yaoi, but nothing explicit. If this isn't your cup of tea, then please hit the back button instead of reading on only to flame me later. Trust me, the "sentiments" will not be appreciated.

Disclaimer: Everything is owned by Kubo Tite sensei. I own nothing but my imagination. But even that has been stolen from countless others… -.-;; Characters may be a little OOC. Sorry. Enjoy. And please don't forget to review:D

* * *

"You are all dismissed." 

All ten espadas rose to leave the table after the renegade shinigami captains, Tousen and Ichimaru Gin, had already departed from the meeting room. Aizen noticed that Grimmjow was moving rather sluggishly of late, and today was of no exception.

Fun time.

"Grimmjow, I do believe you may want to take a look at this."

The dark-haired former shinigami tossed to the sexta espada a thumb-sized piece of black and grey plastic as the others left them alone in the spacious chamber. Grimmjow flipped the black covering, revealing a rectangular metal end. Perplexed, the pale skinned espada glanced at the strange piece of plastic and looked up to meet Aizen's gaze with barely veiled suspicion. Aizen smiled deviously before explaining to the resident smartass, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques.

"A neat little invention by humans from the material world. There's something on there that you should to read." The former fifth squad captain uncharacteristically placed a seemingly friendly arm around the teal haired espada, drawing Grimmjow closer to him. "There's a computer near Szayel Aporro's palace. I'm sure if you ask him nicely, he'll help you, Grimmjow."

The sexta espada replied hesitantly with a disgruntled grunt, and bowed stiffly as the brilliant villain waved him off. Grimmjow stared at the miniscule piece of plastic in his hand as he took his leave for Szayel's palace. Something in his bones whispered that this would lead to no good. Reluctantly he made his way for the palace of the octova espada and was soon out of earshot of the former captain.

"Are ya sure that was a good idea? Putting Grimmjow and Szayel together? Grimmjow doesn't take too kindly to Szayel, ya know."

The dark-haired man chuckled as he sat down in his white throne as Ichimaru Gin joined him by his side with a feigned worried look.

"Just wait and see, Gin."

* * *

Something about the puny piece of plastic and metal raised his hackles. Being one of the espada was great---but it came with a price. Usually when Aizen (_the fucking sadist_, Grimmjow added, bristling) felt bored and felt the need to relieve himself of that boredom. Some of the methods were downright hilarious, that is, if it didn't happen to involve you.

However, Grimmjow had a feeling that Aizen discovered his inability to stop reading something once he started.

The feral arrancar scowled as he let his feet lead him to the palace of that freak show, Szayel Aporro. Always obsessed with either sex (_just look at __the name of his zanpakutou!_"Imbibe, Fornicarás?"_ Give me a break!_), his studies, or with competing with Ulquiorra or some other espada for the favor of their beloved Aizen-sama. Downright sickening was what Grimmjow thought of the octova espada down to every single strand of his freakish pink hair. His late brother, Ilfort Grantz was another story. At least the poor bugger was normal…

_If it hadn't been for that damned shinigami, Kurosaki Ichigo, he'd still be around… Augh!! I'll kill that mother fuc---_

"My, my… what brings the mighty Grimmjow Jeagerjaques to my humble abode?"

Grimmjow held up the black and grey flash drive stonily, determined to not let the pink-haired sex-maniac see how he had surprised him with his sudden appearance out of seemingly nowhere. The teal haired arrancar scowled at Szayel, who leaned against the wall, and sneered. He was going to have to cut down on letting his thoughts override his usually acute senses.

"Aizen told me to take a look at this, and told me that you could help me with this," Grimmjow stated gruffly as Szayel plucked delicately the memory stick from his grasp with elegantly tapered fingers. Grimmjow's senses screamed with suspicion at the flash of recognition in the eyes of the octova espada at the sight of the thumb-drive. But if Aizen ordered him to read it, he had to read it, otherwise, the consequences may not be so great…

"Ah, this one can hold up to eight gigs of memory!" the pink-haired espada exclaimed, evidently impressed. He slowly glanced up to a suspicious Grimmjow with a lust-filled glint in his eyes, studying the senior espada's body with unveiled appreciation. The teal-haired arrancar felt those caramel eyes undressing him beneath their studying gaze---

And he didn't like it one bit.

"Say, Grimmjow," began Szayel softly as he slowly attempted to close the gap between them. "While you're here---"

"No," the sexta espada interrupted with a stony frown.

"C'mon," Szayel plead with a childish, puppy-eyed look. "Please?"

"_No_" Grimmjow refused adamantly. He wanted to turn around to leave but there were Aizen's orders to be followed. That and Szayel just might try to cop a feel if he did turn around, the pervert.

"Just once!"

"No!"

"I'll let you be the seme!"

Szayel never knew that Grimmjow's cobalt eyes could look so psychotic. Or open that widely. For a moment, he feared the sexta espada's eyeballs would pop out and into his face. But he lived for making Grimmjow so uncomfortable---the espada that put the "sex" in sexta always was a reliable source of hilarity. That is, if he didn't punch a new hole in you and incinerate your face afterwards. Szayel thoroughly relished his spot as one of the espada and as one of Aizen-sama's favorites. It was so much fun.

"HELL NO!"

"What about just a blow job?"

"I don't want _your_ lips anywhere near my dick!"

"Who said _I_ was going to do the cock sucking?" asked Szayel with a sly smile, licking his lips expectantly. This was the straw that was close to breaking the camel's back; Grimmjow's pale skin blazed scarlet with a mixture of heightening embarrassment of the subtle hint of him being compared to Szayel and at the brazen comment. The urge to kill anything in sight, namely the octova espada in front of him, seethed underneath Grimmjow's fading self-control.

"Shut the fuck up, you fucking pervert! Just let me read this, goddammit! Or I'll beat the shit out of you, Szayel!"

The octova espada gave a dismissive sigh and shrugged, though his lips were still curved in a crafty smile. "Oh well, it was worth a try," he exhaled in mock defeat before leading the other espada to one of his private computers. "This way…"

"If you try anything, I'll kill you."

"My, my, Grimmjow," Szayel sighed slyly as he led Grimmjow down a barren corridor. "With threats like that, you're only making me want you more…"

Grimmjow felt his right eye twitching and his right hand grip the hilt of his blade instinctively. He wasn't going to provoke the younger espada if he could help it any more. He may be stronger than Szayel, but he was going into the freak's territory---the pink-haired scientist would have the home advantage here. That and there were orders to mind as well. Face possible molestation by the other resident nymphomaniac (there was Nnoitora, but that pervert was only interested with anything female) or beat the shit out of Szayel and risk Aizen-sama's wrath…

Grimmjow hated being stuck between a rock and a hard Szayel.

"Well, here we are," exclaimed Szayel as he revealed one of his personal laptops in one of the many rooms of his palace. Grimmjow felt his eye instinctively twitch a split second before realizing what graced the desktop background of the laptop. His stomach twisted in revulsion at the sight of himself in a naked arrancar sandwich between Szayel and his late brother.

"W-What the _fuck _is that?!"

Dispassionately, Szayel glanced at the background and back at Grimmjow.

"Oh that?" A wicked smile curved his lips. "I've decided that I'm rather fond of a human-created program called Photoshop, Grimmjow… Would you like to see some more of my work?"

"No!" Grimmjow instantly replied, his stomach already churning and his cobalt eyes twitching madly. "Just get on with it!"

"Hn. You're no fun, Grimmjow," sulked the octova espada as he approached the relatively simple white desk. Nonchalantly the pink-haired espada inserted the flash drive into a designated slot and waited for the folder for the device pop up onto the screen. He turned in the backless chair to face the superior espada as he leaned back on the low table.

Grimmjow suddenly rued completely and blatantly ignoring Szayel's group lectures on the basics of using computers. For a moment, he regretted not taking the troubles to become one of Aizen's favorites like the fourth espada or Szayel---maybe then he wouldn't be in such a predicament… His eye twitched uncontrollably at what evil the slender nymphomaniac might come up under the excuse of "teaching" him how to use the laptop.

"Is there something wrong with your eye, Grimmjow?" asked Szayel, genuinely concerned. "It's been twitching since we've got here…" He rose from the chair and approached the sexta espada to inspect the abnormality.

"NO!" Grimmjow interjected instinctively, eager to put as much space possibly between him and the constantly plotting arrancar. "No, there's nothing wrong with my eye---just set up the goddamned thing."

"Hn. Well, it's of no matter to me, anyways," Szayel sighed nonchalantly, resigning himself back to the backless white chair. The laptop gave a cheerful chirp as the folder popped up on the screen. The pink-haired espada spun around in the chair to check that nothing had gone awry. Slowly he turned around to face the teal haired espada, his eyes unreadable but his brow raised.

"Please at least tell me that you know the rudiments of using a computer, yes?"

A few moments of silence passed; for once, Grimmjow felt as if he could not meet the piercing gaze of Szayel Aporro. For a split second, Grimmjow contemplated going to Tousen, Ichimaru Gin, or Ulquiorra instead.

But putting him and Tousen together was like a ticking time bomb, especially after the renegade captain had cut off his arm and incinerated it. His left arm twitched in response, remembering when the blade had sliced through his reiatsu, jacket, and flesh, only to be reduced to mere ashes before Ulquiorra's pet did something that should have been impossible.

Ichimaru Gin? He didn't trust the silver haired, fox-faced former shinigami. Period. Who knew what dastardly plans the constantly smiling former shinigami was concocting or what exactly he thought of everyone? If Aizen was unreadable, then the silver haired shinigami was a complete mystery.

And he couldn't stand Ulquiorra, who, in turn, couldn't "tolerate his presence." They were polar opposites. There was no denying it.

Sometimes, Grimmjow really hated how his pride got the better of him.

He turned face slightly to the right, determined to get this annoying task over with as soon as possible, but he hated how Szayel's lips curved into a sly smirk at his obvious discomfort. He hated how those lustful eyes seemed to be undressing him unabashedly and brazenly.

And how small his voice sounded when he replied.

"…no."

* * *

"So what exactly did you put on that flash drive?" asked Gin as they both peered at the screen, observing the interaction between the octova and the sexta espada.

"It's a secret, Gin." The dark-haired former shinigami leaned back in one of the chairs in the room. Gin remained by the workstation, but turned around to face his former captain.

"Is the secrecy that necessary?"

"Patience is a virtue," parried Aizen easily as the silver haired former shinigami took a seat next to Aizen. His interest was piqued---the funniest reactions always came from the teal-haired arrancar whenever the leader of the espada pulled one of his pranks.

"Besides, I'm sure you'll enjoy the show, Gin."

Gin walked towards the control panel and motioned to it questioningly. Aizen gave him an approving smile. A slender hand worked the controls, rearranging the rooms in Las Noches, much to the misfortune of two particular arrancars.

The silver haired former shinigami turned around and noticed the empty hilt at Aizen's hip. Typically, if Aizen chose to deceive the senses of the arrancar (and usually also Tousen as well), Aizen did not bother with including Gin into the group.

"So I see ya don't have yer zanpakutou," started Gin as his lips curved into a fox-like smile. "Who is it gonna impersonate today?"

* * *

Szayel had been remarkably Spartan and business-like about the quick tutorial. The octova espada had gone over the basics effectively, making sure that Grimmjow understood. He was thankful for the small mercies.

"So now that you know the basics, you should be just fine," spoke Szayel with a flourish of his hand towards the now seated Grimmjow. He drew closer to the sexta espada, who had turned outwards from the laptop and trapped the feral arrancar. Grimmjow knew that this had been too good to be true. Szayel not taking the chance to molest him?

Only for so long.

"So what do you say to---"

"Fuck off."

"But---"

"NO!"

"Just for a little bit of research!"

"And just what kind of jacked-up kind of research are you doing, you sick fuck?!"

Szayel drew dangerously and uncomfortably close to Grimmjow's face, his usually light caramel eyes darkened with sinisterly lustful intent. Somewhere in the back of the sexta espada's mind registered that the pink-haired nympho-scientist smelled faintly of a distinctly familiar cologne…

"On just what makes that body of yours so fucking desirable," he whispered as his lips drew closer to Grimmjow's. Suddenly realizing what the lecherous arrancar was about to do, Grimmjow instantly shoved Szayel away, his teeth bared in a fierce snarl. The pink-haired genius sprawled back, landing squarely on his rear, making him seem more effeminate in doing so.

"Get the fuck away from me, or I'll risk Aizen's wrath and beat the shit out of you," threatened the feral arrancar, his cobalt eyes bright with the anticipation of possibly punishing his tormentor. His fists itched with the desire to punch extra holes through the other arrancar as the blood lust began to surge throughout his system. The octova espada rose to his feet and dusted himself off indifferently and released a slight sigh of defeat. Grimmjow's hackles rose in anticipation of another attack.

"Well, it was worth another try. When you're finished, make sure that you properly remove the thumb drive and don't just yank it from the USB port," dismissed Szayel as he made his way towards the door.

"And don't break anything---otherwise the consequences may not be pleasant, sexta espada or not," Szayel finished as he paused at the vast doorway, his voice low, full of pent-up lust and whispered of malicious plans yet to be fulfilled with the poor excuse of the thinly veiled threat.

The pink-haired espada opened and closed the door after him, his exit silent compared to the angry slam that Grimmjow had been expecting. The teal haired arrancar contemplated barricading the door or leaving it as it was.

_It's not like I'm going to be using his computer to look for porn or anything of the sort… And besides, if he does try anything, I'll just beat the shit out of him…_

Reluctantly Grimmjow returned his attentions to the laptop on the table and double clicked on the solitary icon in the folder browser. Warily, the espada watched the internet browsing window appear, followed by primarily text.

At first, he wasn't sure what to make of the unfolding story (he had never been much for reading, even before becoming a hollow in the first place), but the title seemed interesting enough---Death of Innocence: Battle Between Kings. The choice of characters seemed interesting enough; it had included his enemy, Kurosaki Ichigo and himself, though he didn't quite understand why there was an "x" in between their names. And he didn't quite understand what they meant by the rating…

_What do they mean by adult? __…__ Hmm… I guess they're talking about all __the blood, gore, and violence__… But what the hell __are__ BL__ and PWP_

Grimmjow began to read the thing that called itself a fanfiction, unknowing of what psychological terrors that lay before him…

* * *

Hours later, Grimmjow's cobalt eyes widened in horror as he continued reading the obscenities on the screen, too dumbstruck with revulsion to tear his eyes from the glowing monitor. The espada was too shocked to even realize that his nose had begun to bleed from the sheer excess of blasphemy and the scarlet dripped onto the stylish black of the keyboard.

At the end of the fanfiction, the teal-haired arrancar vaguely realized that his right eye was twitching uncontrollably as blood continued to flow from his nose. The only comprehensible thought running through his mind was to kill the instigator of the mind-rape, or rather, the author of the fanfiction. Killing Aizen was out of the picture---not only was he his boss, but the former fifth squad captain was privy to incomprehensible levels of power. That and Gin would probably kill him first if he tried.

But he wanted to kill something.

_I'll just kill the first thing __I see once I'm out of this fucking room_, Grimmjow compromised himself, his mind still in a jumble. Shaken, he bolted up from the chair and walked towards the door. _That's right… I'll just kill the first thing that __I see__---_

The door opened in response to the sexta espada's presence before Grimmjow could finish his thought.

Revealing a very naked Szayel Aporro Grantz. And his equally naked elder brother, Ilfort Grantz, who was thrusting himself into the pink-haired arrancar. And they were going at it like there was no tomorrow on the floor.

Sweat gleamed from their contrasting skin, cream against light golden honey. Slender legs wrapped around the toned torso. Possessively the gold-haired arrancar began to worship Szayel's collarbone with an attentive mouth whilst pinning his arms above his head. Noticing (barely) a dumbstruck (and still bleeding) Grimmjow, Szayel turned his gaze to Grimmjow, lust clouding his caramel eyes behind his glasses and a sinful flush in his cheeks. A wicked smile curved his lips as his softly grunted with each thrust from the golden-haired arrancar.

"Why don't you---_nghhh_---join us, Grimmjow?"

Grimmjow immediately commenced to throw up violently in the nearest trashcan.

* * *

Miles away, the laughter of a former shinigami captain and his former lieutenant could be heard throughout the private palace of the renegade Aizen, former captain of the fifth protection squad.

FIN


End file.
